Does Josh Homme Have Homo Tattoo

Homme uses his leprechaun powers to modify the colour of the universe and so people won't mock his hair. Stupid ranga.

" I saw three guys dressed up equally bananas. I guess they split."

~ Josh Homme at Glastonbury Festival, 2011.

Joshua Michael "The Ejaculator" Infant Duck Homme 3 (born May 17, 1973, the third coming of Evil Jesus) is a record producer, lead singer, guitarist, trom-boner and transvestite of the bands Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss, Them Crooked Vultures and Eagles of Death Metal. He is famous for 3 reasons;

1. Invented the Panda in 1982, to the disbelief of many disco-goers of the time, every bit the creature is not colourful enough.

2. Wrote the volume of Mormon later on a feud with Richard Dawkins. When asked what he thought of Homme, Dawkins said "Pretentious cactus-fucker, smells like fermented radishes and gives blow chore'due south similar a fucking donkey." Dawkins was afterward put down. Vets say he barely felt a thing, and is in a "better place".

7. Through the miracle of IVF, in 2034 Homme gave birth to Elvis and Evil Jesus simultaneously from two seperate genetically engineered vaginas just underneath his nipples. When asked if this feel changed him, Homme replied "I recollect everyone has to try it once, although my wife can't even wait my breast vaginas in the heart now. So I secrete breast vagina mucus into her energy drinks while she's at piece of work."

2. Invented Underwater deep fisting to aid teach disabled children what love feels like to normal humans.

Childhood and Offset of Pimp Career [edit]

Homme was ejected from his father'southward uterus in a desert called Joshua Tree, California. At age ix, he used the penises of salamanders to larn how to play guitar, and how to perform fellatio on lizards. He quickly learnt that owl ejaculate was much more than thirst quenching than the blood of orphans, and decided to brood ~~with~~ owls. He joined his get-go band, Pedophile and the Underage Vaginal Canals, at the age of 12. At the age of 43 he noticed his first erection, and promptly grabbed the nearest mammal and sexed it into another dimension. Discovering his talent for fucking things out of our plane of existence, he quickly became notorious, pimping out Otters and other types of Giraffe to starving Ethiopians. This explains the contempo increase in AIDS, Squirrel AIDS, and Ginger AIDS.

Musical Career [edit]

With the help of David Tennant's penis propelling Homme to 88mph, Homme travelled back to 1987 to create a band known every bit Kyuss. Although their music was predominantly almost beastiality, homosexuality and agnosticism, their music became very pop amid Catholics. Pope Fuck once said about Kyuss, "The rhythm of the basslines equals the approximate speed at which my hips can collide with the choirboys". Upon hearing this, Homme released a clemency vocal entitled "Hips 2 hips, Fuck the poor", all proceeds of which were snorted past Courtney Dearest in a vain attempt to seduce the corpse of Morgan Freeman.

When all the members of Kyuss were killed in the 1666 great fire of London, zombie Homme returned every bit a homosexual in the year 11,567 BCE. Over time, he developed his manly singing voice into a girly shriek in social club to avert his natural predators (Otters and Helium balloons). He used his man-erotic experience in this time to come with a new projection with which to fund his owl convenance, a band chosen 'Queens of the Rock Age'. Struggling to find a bassist, Homme permit all of the prisoners out of Arkham Aviary, and chose the prisoner with the all-time goatee, Nick Oliveri. Together the two made beautiful music, but while they weren't aimless, they besides produced sounds onto records which were distributed for a nominal fee to the public. For the showtime track on the tape, 'Regular Handjob', Homme recorded the vocals whilst having his scrotum slowly crushed by the boots of Mexican Michael Jackson's ghost (The two later had sex, resulting in another vocal, 'Mexi-erect') resulting in ridiculously loftier pitched vocals. Commenting on the vocals, Spiderman said "I plant them easy to masturbate to, merely that was the trouble. I prefer a claiming, similar wanking off while watching Margaret Thatcher's ballot speech, or Osama Bin Laden'southward death".

The ghost of Michael Jackson sniffs Julia Gillard'south panties in the promise that his nostrils will be impregnated past her fishy scent. It is also suspected he is using the panties to hibernate his customary Mexican moustache.

Personal Life [edit]

Homme is married to Ed Sheeran, and they accept 3 kids, Adolf Hitler, Oscar Wilde and the inventor of anal rape, George Bush. The reason Ed wanted to opt for a same sex human relationship is a random happening. He establish a girl that was really sweet, simply he fancied watching Heartbeat. She was not someone waiting for this man then unreal. She was a adult female stronger than anyone Ed would know, only Ed was more interested in Tricia Penrose. Later on, Ed knew he would never have a woman, and gay relationships do non involve a pregnant adult female.

Homme has stated that before going on stage, he inserts at to the lowest degree 3 pineapples deep into his rectum, to requite him the sexual excitation needed to play guitar. Homme had the words "Baby Duck" tattooed on his right arm to signify his love of and sexual frustration towards immature birds. There has been much speculation equally to how his surname is pronounced, in 2009 Josh antiseptic the pronunciation by stating "It'south Josh Homie, dawgg". Subsequently being sodomized by a banana being wielded by Bono (While The Edge clapped and chanted "Ba-na-na, in your ass, ba-na-na, stick it in fast") Homme took his love of birds to the side by side level past fornicating with people whose names sounded like birds, namely Sheryl Crow, Jay Leno and Robin Williams. Homme is close friends with musician Dave Grohl, and during Grohl's caffeine addiction, Homme unfortunately supported Grohl'due south dangerous behaviour and in 2009 released an anthology with him chosen 'Them Crooked Vultures' as the caffeine had completely destroyed their grammar capabilities, and convinced them that they were birds of prey. This is more than evidence of Homme's love of birds.

Homme is too an avid gun collector, with some of his drove including a classic Winchester rifle, sawn-off shotgun, and a Beretta 9mm target pistol, mostly used to impress owls into submission. Homme is considered a pioneer of Stoner Stone and Metallic.

Homme spots a sexy looking falcon in the distance.

Controversy [edit]

In 2004, Homme was arrested for picking upwards a dwarf named Blag Dahlia by the ankles, assaulting him, removing the dwarf'due south pants, spitting in the dwarf's ass crack and singing "Back in black, spit on the crack, seize with teeth the sack until Kyuss comes back" to the tune of 'Back in Blackness' by AC/DC. Homme was arrested by the dwarf police, and served a short term in prison. When asked near this experience, Homme said "I felt like a fucking giant, everyday in the showers I would go there beginning to put the soap on the floor, then i would use my semen to stick to the ceiling and drop on the unsuspecting midgets. The expect on their butt holes, always shocked!". Upon pleading no competition, he must now stay at least 100 yards away from dwarves. In 2008 at the Norwegian Wood Festival, Josh used the keen owl-like vision he had developed to spot a Justin Bieber fan in the crowd. Upon being spotted, the "Belieber" began projecting apparel at Homme. Appropriately, Homme chosen the 7 yr old out as a "Craven shit fucking faggot". The next day, Homme was attacked past the press for his remarks, however information technology should be noted that all the writers that were offended by his words were in fact craven shit fucking faggots. When asked if he nonetheless gets nervous when playing live, Homme responded "Sometimes I jizz and then powerfully that I momentarily reverse the orbit of the earth, resulting in the death of literally tens of insects, only the fans seem to like it".

Homme besides invented 'Rimming', 'Bukkake' and the 'Shepherd's Pie'. While talking about these inventions, Homme said "These sexual acts were mostly inspired by the shape of a female turtle's clitoris. Jack Black taught me all the other stuff". Jack Black is a friend and long term associate of Homme, and Jack tin even exist heard clapping (His main talent) on Queen'south of the Rock Age's tape, Lullabies to Paralyze released 21 March 2005.

Homme also has a wood fetish. He has been caught fucking copse twice, once with a blood-red fern, the other time with a whole forest of oaks, this event was named the "Oak Orgy of '02". When asked about this fetish, Josh said "I am sexually aroused by all products of wood; tables, chairs, Jeremy Clarkson, benches, paper, Jeremy Clarkson, the French. It's fun once yous become past the splinters and the infections".

Musical Equipment [edit]

Homme's primary instrument is a violin made out of the tears of terrorists. It can but be played by ovulating direct onto the strings, meaning Homme can only play 1 annotation per solar day. This results in large problems when recording, equally demonstrated by the band taking 6 years to tape their upcoming untitled album, the follow-up to 2007'due south 'Anal Vulgaris'. Homme likewise mastered the triangle at the historic period of iii, thanks to the third manus he grows from the end of his penis when he is angry. It has been rumoured that the xylophone Homme plays in 69% of his songs is made of the basic of Winston Churchill, Jack the Ripper, and Marylin Monroe. Homme has received many awards for his sexually frustrating guitar playing, in 2011 he was named the 14th all-time guitarist of the terminal 30 years by BBC-6Music. Maton also released a signature Josh Homme guitar later witnessing his ovulation skills.

"Ovulation is the key to success" - Homme upon release of his signature guitar, pictured here. -

Conspiracies [edit]

In July 2012, A Current Affair reported that Homme was yet again meaning, this time with the Virgin Santa's child. Upon discovering this revelation, Satan rose up from Hell and alleged that the infant was in fact his, and he had used his invisi-penis to impregnate Homme without him knowing. The media went crazy, accusing Homme of horrible things such equally being a fan of Lady Gaga, enjoying the taste of Vegemite, and even giving money to the poor. Choosing to ignore his heroic bird-fucking behaviour, the press decided instead to study under headlines such as "THE Fourth COMING OF JESUS: THIS TIME, IT'S ON YOUR Confront", "SATAN AND GINGER HAVE BABY: APOCALYPSE IMMINENT" and "JULIA GILLARD WORRIED: REPLACEMENT EVIL RANGA ON THE WAY". Subsequently 17 months of pregnancy, the child unfortunately exploded In Utero. Josh was understandably horrified, and rushed to Satan's beach-front mansion for back up and oral sex activity. The globe was in stupor, just no ane took information technology harder than Satan, he's quoted saying "No one takes it harder than me". In society to avenge the explosion of his unborn spawn, Satan placed a spell over humanity that convinced them the globe would end in December 2012, and he also created Facebook to go on them ignorant, at home, alone. While everyone was playing Farmville, Homme and Satan proceeded to accept sexual intercourse with every species of Hamster. This resulted in Angus T Jones converting his organized religion, and becoming an obese little bitch.

Currently, the only people aware of the mass Hamster impregnation event are Stephen Hawking (Who has remained uncharacteristically quiet about information technology all), Stevie Wonder (Who was blinded by Satan when he attempted to inform the police), and Marvin Gaye (Who was believed to have heard it through the grapevine).

Another conspiracy is the thought that in Jan, 2101, Homme will reveal that he is in fact a Dalek that has spent the final 14 thousand years studying the behaviour and sexual activity of mammals in lodge to create a pornographic reality show on his domicile planet. 'Daleksdayers of the Latter Solar day Saints' as they are chosen believe that every time you masturbate, a Dalek is recording information technology for entertainment. People with especially small penises (See Selena Gomez, Abraham Lincoln, Tony Abott) will be voted off (Hung, drawn, quartered and defecated upon) every hour until only women remain, at which point the Daleks will permanently raise all the toilet seats in the earth, causing mass suicide among 99% of women. The remaining i% will be used as personal slaves past Satan and Dalek-Homme.